We write about the definition, types of orgasm, differences in the sexes, the formation and about disorders.
Orgasm is probably one of the most beautiful sensations that a person can feel with body and mind. It is the climax of sex and masturbation and a wonderful discharge of sexual tension. As a strong, overwhelming feeling, it is almost equivalent to the explosion of a highly complex firework with hundreds of rockets.
However, we humans do not really know much about the “petite mort” (in German: kleiner Tod, as the French also call the orgasm). In recent years, however, research into pleasure seems to be finally getting off the ground. Little by little, facts are being established and confused theories are being debunked. Thus it is not at all long ago that physicians insinuated women, an orgasm would be rather not normal with her sex. Ahem!
Want to learn more about the current state of research? Then read on here! Among other things, we’ll tell you what an orgasm actually is and how it differs between the sexes. You’ll also learn other exciting facts that will help you understand climax.
Spoiler: There’s not THE ONE orgasm definition.
Anyone who has ever experienced an orgasm knows exactly what it is. The feeling is simply unmistakable and cannot be ignored, nor overlooked. Even those who have never experienced the pleasure are guaranteed to recognize the climax as soon as it penetrates them. But how can such an orgasm actually be defined?
The meaning of the word “orgasm”.
The word orgasm means something like “violent excitement” or “ardent desire”. There are also some more or less common synonyms. There are no limits to the imagination:
- Climax
- coming
- voluptuous intoxication
- apex of love lust
- climax (of sexual desire)
Especially for men, there is also talk of ejaculation or ejaculation. From a medical point of view, however, these paraphrases are not entirely correct, because in rare cases men can have an orgasm even without sperm coming out.
Various sciences are trying to answer the question of how orgasm can actually be defined in concrete terms. These include, for example, medicine and psychology. Both disciplines have come to different conclusions, but a uniform definition is still lacking.
Medical definition: Orgasm is the climax of sexual arousal experienced as pleasurable, triggered by the stimulation of sensitive nerve fibers and followed by a feeling of pleasant relaxation. Neurologically, it can also be referred to as an orgasmic reflex, because similar to sneezing, there is a point of no return during orgasm.
Psychological definition: Orgasm is defined as a series of muscular contractions in the genital area accompanied by slight changes in consciousness, leading to sexual discharge or relaxation and accompanied by pleasurable sensations.
You should know this orgasm model
Climax is a complex process that is very individual for each person. It is therefore quite normal that the path to orgasm and the feelings that occur are described differently. In addition, the sensation changes from climax to climax and throughout life.
Nevertheless, in most cases some common features occur during orgasms. For example, according to the gynecologist William Howell Masters (1915 to 2001) and the scientist Virginia Johnson (1925 to 2013), climax is always accompanied by exactly four phases that are characterized by certain features:
- Arousal (increase in heart rate and blood pressure, faster breathing, increased blood flow).
- Plateau (further increasing arousal, increased muscle tension)
- Orgasm (strongest point of arousal with muscle contractions in genital and anal areas)
- Relaxation (body normalizes or further orgasms occur due to additional arousal).
The four-phase model elaborated by Masters and Johnson is very well recognized, but it is not the only one that theoretically explains the process in the body. Kaplan’s three-phase model (with the three phases of desire, arousal, and orgasm) instead pulls in pure desire and leaves relaxation aside.
How to take advantage of the four-phase model
Actually, the four-phase model is rather useless knowledge, unless you happen to be a sex doctor. But especially for orgasm beginners it can be a help. You should use the information to estimate how close you are to orgasm during masturbation or sex right now. For example, it might look like this:
Your body feels completely relaxed and calm? Then there is no sign of arousal yet. Make yourself hot with additional touches and daring fantasies or let someone make you hot. If that doesn’t work, you may not have discovered the right buttons that work for you yet.
But if you breathe faster and feel your heart beating stronger, you’re already violently aroused (and no longer just desiring). In men and women, gender-specific peculiarities are usually added. In most cases, a man will get a hard-on from arousal, while a woman will get wet.
Orgasms even without erection or wet vagina
If your penis doesn’t get really hard or your vagina stays dry, you can still experience a climax, if it’s up to systemic couples therapist and sex researcher Prof. Dr. Ulrich Clement. Even men with erectile dysfunction or erectile dysfunction are not completely excluded from physical pleasure if they work on the problem and seek medical or psychological support.
Those who want to have a hard erection despite mild difficulties should first ask their doctor for advice and then seek help with penis rings and/or penis pumps. There are also aids for women who don’t get properly wet from time to time. To stimulate your clitoral glans with a pleasant feeling, simply use a good lubricant.
If, in addition to the signs of your physical arousal, muscle tension sets in, you have reached the plateau phase. Until the onset of orgasm, not much will change in and on your body. If it suddenly feels a thousand times better and you may even feel like moaning a little: Congratulations, this is your orgasm!
You may also feel a certain boredom during the plateau phase. Then the excitement will most likely just fade away again. At the latest, when your heartbeat and breathing have slowed down again, the climax is unfortunately no longer in sight.
For women: Tips for easier phase transitions
Why no tips for men?
In this section, we are exceptionally addressing only women, because they usually have the greater difficulty in experiencing their first orgasms.
If you are already excited, but the muscle tension of the plateau phase just won’t happen, you should try to consciously create tension in your body.
This applies especially to the pelvic floor as well as the abdomen, legs and buttocks. True to the motto: Fake it till you make it. We don’t mean faking the orgasm, but we are talking exclusively about muscle tension. Love balls can help you to feel your pelvic floor better. Some products are also suitable as cute sex toys.
Forget absurd tips like “you need to let yourself go”, “finally relax” or “clear your head”. They have already contributed far too often to women only becoming more confused. Of course, thoughts that arise (for example, about the grocery list, the call to mom, or tomorrow’s exam) can give you a thick head. But the advice to just not think about anything usually has the opposite effect: You start thinking about something and feel even more unpleasantly pressured.
But there is a better method: focus your attention on your body (where it feels good), on your partner or on a sexy fantasy. In the long run, meditation can help you tame the monkeys jumping around in your head and control your attention more consciously.
By the way, to boost your libido, try these ten natural aphrodisiacs.
Also, make sure that you feel very comfortable. Especially for women, this factor should never be underestimated. Even if socks are not so sexy in bed: If your feet are lumps of ice, they are guaranteed to prevent you from reaching orgasm. Make sure that the room is sufficiently tempered, you are not hungry, nor have you eaten too much, and you can indulge in your pleasure undisturbed.
The health benefits of orgasm
One of the reasons why men and women should experience climaxes often and with pleasure is their positive health benefits. We’ve written extensively before about how sex has many health effects. So we’ll keep it brief this time.
Climaxes, for example, help men reduce their risk of getting a hard-on. According to studies, a high ejaculation frequency reduces the likelihood of developing prostate cancer. Cancer prevention has never been better!
Other cancers can apparently also be suppressed or possibly even reduced in this way. A cell study with mice, for example, seems to show that oxytocin inhibits tumor growth in breast cancer. Breast cancer is currently the most common type of cancer in women.
Since the body releases wonderful hormones and messengers such as oxytocin and DHEA during orgasm, you incidentally reduce stress and anxiety and release pent-up aggression.
Men improve the quality of their sperm, which maintains or even improves their fertility. So don’t give your Baby Maker too many breaks!
You are allowed to give yourself orgasms if there is no willing sex partner in sight, because it’s better than nothing. By the way, you don’t have to worry that masturbation will make you go blind. It’s also rather unlikely to harm you in any other way, as long as you use a little common sense. Here we’ve debunked masturbation myths like these.
These types of orgasm exist
Did you know that there is more than one way to experience an orgasm? Loyal readers of Fraulila know, of course, because we have already written in detail about the 7+1 types of orgasm in women. Some of the climaxes mentioned there you can also have as a man.
Where does it actually come from that there is not only one orgasm? The reason lies in the ambiguous definition, which we have already explained to you earlier in the text. Without an unambiguous definition, you can actually call every intoxicating and overwhelming body or mind feeling an orgasm.
Orgasm: Differences between the sexes
Men’s and women’s bodies are very different, and this is also noticeable around climax. You’ll find out what happens in detail in the next two paragraphs. But first, we’d like to introduce you to some amazing facts about orgasm.
Amazing facts about orgasm
These facts will change your previous image of climax forever.
- Even paraplegic people can experience climaxes that are just as good as those experienced by non-paraplegics.
- It is possible for some people to trigger orgasms by stimulating the anus, perineum or nipples.
- There are reports of foot amputees experiencing orgasmic sensations at the amputation site.
Features of the female orgasm.
In addition to the acceleration of heartbeat and breathing, the following happens during the initial orgasmic phase: when aroused, redness appears on the neck and chest, and the woman’s sexual organs swell as more blood flows into them. The vulva (that is, the outer part of the genitals) not only increases in volume, but also becomes moist. The vagina expands inward, but only the part near the uterus is affected. This creates more space for the penis.
Perhaps you have already had the experience that during sex you suddenly no longer feel any bumping at the end of the vagina, but at the beginning of penetration you do. This can be an indication that you need a longer foreplay. An erotic movie can also help you get aroused.
In the plateau phase, women are usually especially beautiful, because the breasts swell, while the nipples become firm and wrinkled. Wrinkles can be sooo sexy! However, the nipples quickly look relaxed again, which is due to the increased blood flow.
Your genital area has also become noticeably firmer and plumper here and there. Your clitoris, on the other hand, suddenly retracts again. So if you can’t get hold of it easily anymore, you’re simply on the way to your orgasm.
During orgasm, rhythmic contractions occur in your uterus, vagina, and anal area. The muscles contract at intervals of about 0.8 seconds, while a nice feeling overcomes you. At up to 51 seconds, you’re in for a much longer climax than most men. Sometimes, however, women still feel a slight twitch in their pelvic floor minutes later.
With additional stimulation, more orgasms are possible immediately, called multiple orgasms. However, some women are still hypersensitive at the clitoris for a while, in which case you should relax for a while and enjoy the pleasant regression phase.
During involution, your vagina shrinks back to its original size. Nature has designed it so that the cervix of your uterus dips into the man’s sperm collected there during this process. So the woman’s orgasm can actually help you get pregnant more easily.
Features of the male orgasm
The arousal phase in men is usually expressed by an erection. During this process, the erectile tissue fills with a large portion of blood, so that your penis enlarges, erects and becomes plump. The scrotum becomes tighter and pulls your testicles a little closer to your body.
You still lack a little inspiration for the arousal phase? Sex toys for men can help you with the stimulation. You don’t have any in the house? Try our alternative suggestions.
During the plateau phase, your glans and testicles swell more. At this time, you will also breathe faster, feel your heartbeat pulsing quickly and clearly, and your blood pressure will also increase. As with women, this phase in men is expressed by muscle tension in the legs and buttocks.
During orgasm, which unfortunately only lasts ten to 30 seconds in men, you will feel contractions in your pelvic floor. If it is not a dry orgasm, sperm will also drip or squirt out of your little friend’s orifice.
Attention: Sperm can come out of the penis in all orgasm phases. This is the so-called drop of pleasure (or pre-ejaculate). The sperm in it are capable of fertilizing a woman. So a condom is always appropriate when your penis is near a vulva and you two are not planning parenthood.
After climax comes the regression or relaxation phase, during which the body returns to normal. Most men also now enter a refractory phase. It prevents you from experiencing orgasms for a period of a few minutes or a few days (!). As your life progresses, this period normally lengthens.
Orgasm Disorders: When the body is out of control
If you can determine for yourself when and how strong you have your orgasm, consider yourself lucky. Unfortunately, a few people do not enjoy climaxes because they are affected by an orgasm disorder.
Anorgasmia: failure to reach orgasm
Those who cannot have climax suffer from anorgasmia. A distinction is made between primary and secondary anorgasmia. In the primary variant, the woman or man has not had an orgasm at all. In the secondary form, she has unlearned the ability in the course of life. This disorder can usually be successfully overcome or it goes away on its own.
Premature or delayed orgasm
Premature coming mostly affects men, while women tend to struggle with delayed climax. With practice, the difficulties can often be brought under control, at least to a degree that the disorder is no longer experienced as a burden. Masturbation helps immensely in this regard.
Persistent sexual arousal syndrome
Persistent sexual arousal syndrome is a disease and not a disorder. However, for the sake of completeness, we mention it here anyway. In the syndrome, those affected suffer from continuous orgasms. They experience up to 250 climaxes daily – unfortunately mainly in inappropriate situations.
Women are affected far more frequently than men. Overall, however, the condition occurs rather rarely in the population. Unfortunately, there is no cure as yet.
Important information to take away
There are some things you should remember about orgasms. For example, there is no single definition, so all extremely intense feelings in humans can be called orgasms. Nevertheless, you will definitely notice a climax should you have one. This is because the feeling is absolutely overwhelming and unmistakable.
It is not a contradiction if we now say that each coming is nevertheless completely unique. Orgasms always have things in common, but each one is individual in its own way. They change constantly and especially throughout life.
The physical process is best described in the four-phase model: arousal, plateau, orgasm and regression. Biologically, the female climax can help to impregnate a woman. However, we know that this also works excellently without climax. The special feature of the male climax is the subsequent refractory period, which stops new orgasms for a while.
Some people are affected by orgasm disorders. Those who do not have to deal with it can be happy. But most disorders pass quickly. Persistent sexual arousal syndrome, on the other hand, is a very distressing condition in which those affected experience hundreds of climaxes a day and suffer greatly as a result.